Dragon Tears
by Datzaya Boihara
Summary: When it's over, it's over.


Shizuo's POV

This was not a job that I intended for, I didn't like it at all. The pay sucked but there was not much else to do. People die everyday but whether they needed a hole in the ground or not was up to those who survived them. Some people preferred to be cremated and have their remains in an urn.

But I found an uncanny calmness in the cemetery. Everything felt so rustic and peaceful. I may be looking at the cause my newfound 'peace' in a weird way but I wasn't going to question it.

There was nothing to worry about—no idiots to deal with. Negotiations were done through my current boss, Hiro-san, so I had minimal or no communication with the clients.

On days when there was nothing to do, I would help with weeding and cleaning some tombstones. Some of them had the occasional fresh bouquet of flowers left by those who still cared while some were completely neglected with dirt and grim. Some were marvelous structures, marble and granite, while some were just plain and nondescript.

Comes to show you how time can make people forget about the person who was once most important to them.

While cleaning, I find myself reading the information engraved on the stones. I wasn't surprised to see ages as little as one year on them. Some of deceased had long lives, up to even ninety up. I usually felt depressed when I see the epitome. Some were just too touching and I said a silent prayer to most.

I didn't know anyone here but they must have been of some importance to be given a grave.

One day, Hiro-san told me something that shocked me.

"The next one is for Izaya Orihara. You know the usual measurements."

What?

I was definitely hearing wrong.

"What? Izaya Orihara?" I repeated, eyes widening in utter shock, not completely understanding what my boss just announced. He gave me a weird look.

"What? Did you know him?"

I nodded slowly, still dumbstruck.

"Yeah, we knew each other since High School. He was a real pain in the ass but still…" I trailed off quietly and stared at the ground, trying to sort all these new thoughts running through my head.

"I knew he dabbled in information dealing with less than reputable people." Hiro nodded and sighed, "He was only twenty-eight; so young and he met such a tragic death too."

"How?" I asked, feeling my stomach churn uncomfortable.

"Bullets; what else these days?"

My boss shook his head and headed back to his office.

"The body is going to be delivered in an hour. I was told they had it in a body bag and to bury it like that. How weird; I think the body was too mutilated beyond recognition."

Shizuo listened to the callous words with a growing sickness. He clutched his stomach as the vivid image of a bloody bullet-riddled Izaya entered his mind and sprinted to the bathroom.

* * *

Like my boss said, the flea's body came in a bag, delivered by three men in black suits. I was suspicious but then again, it was Izaya Orihara we were dealing with so undoubtedly he was associating himself with all sorts of dangerous, wealthy and influential people. I also wouldn't be surprised if he met his end like that.

The guy was always a fucking lunatic, no matter how I looked at him.

The three men spoke with my boss for awhile before leaving. The body was placed in a fridge used to preserve the body and I set out to dig a grave.

There was no sun so the digging was much easier without the annoying heat. After I cleared all the dirt to one pile, I wiped the sweat from my brow and went back inside the small office.

"Um Hiro-san, is the burial today?" It suddenly hit me that the body wasn't supposed to be delivered so early on unless his family and friends or whatever they were called, were coming. My boss waved his hand and continued perusing through the newspaper.

"I wasn't told that people were coming so the burial can take place right now. No contact from family or anyone and the guys that came to deliver the body didn't even bother to tell me the details. Oh, and the coffin and tombstone are right next to the shed. You can just go ahead and bury it now."

With another wave of his hand, my boss went silent and I headed outside. I was a bit surprised that no one was bothering with Izaya's burial. He must've not been close with his family or something.

I saw the tombstone and coffin lying next to each other. The headstone was simply engraved with the year he was born till the day he died and a 'Rest In Peace.' The coffin was all black with no fancy designs of any sorts.

I took both of them and mounted the head stone to the soft earth.

My stomach twisted as the thought of having to touch his dead body. I was supposed to be used to it but thinking it was Izaya made it even more strange and uncomfortable than usual.

But unless I wanted to get fired, I had to do it. Sighing and shivering a bit, I went to the storage room and went to the fridge. I hesitated as I reached out to open the door. The cold white plumes only served to make me more nervous.

I slowly pulled the body bag out and felt my knees growing a bit weak. The body felt so light in my hands and I was tempted to pull down the zipper.

Just to see his face for a final time. What was this feeling? Pity?

I decided against it, for the wind of cowardice blew me away. I held the body and gently laid it against the red cushions of the coffin. Slowly, I covered the opening with the lid and went to get the small crane to lower the coffin.

I dumped the remaining piles of dirt over the coffin until it was completely covered. I smoothed the earth and took a pause.

He was really six feet under.

It felt weird. I never expected things to turn out like this. Not that I had any expectations otherwise but still...

…I felt like this was just a cruel trick or a dream.

I dusted my hands and took a seat in front of the tombstone.

"Well, look where your shit has gotten you, flea." I shook my head and sighed, "I hope you're finally happy. I know I am. No one to bother me. Pain in the ass."

I never knew, for the next two years, that those words were going to mean the opposite of what I really meant at that moment.

* * *

Seasons went and days passed by like the ever flowing wind. I was covered in white snow, intoxicated by the warm scent of blooming flowers, burnt with the intense heat and covered with pale colors of orange petals.

I thought I was living in this dream; a diversion from reality. But I found my solace in you. I sat by you whenever I had the time and spoke my monologue that melted in the rain or blew away with the wind.

Death evokes a lot of emotions, uncovers unsaid words, and discoveries.

I just never thought that you would have that much of an effect on me. I don't know why. I may never know why.

It kinda pisses me off.

I was always thinking, what made me hate you so much? I never found the reason. But I don't think there needs to be a reason. I just hate you and that's all.

I never knew much about you. What became of your family? What about the twins? They were not normal, I blame your influence, but I can't help but worry a little.

I reason again. I want to know why I hated you. Let me find the answer within my self because no one, or I believe, understood what went on between us.

Hey, Izaya, I wondered if you ever liked me. Don't ask why but I heard a lot of stories that the one that bothers you the most likes you. It must be in my head because I didn't like you.

Actually, I don't know anymore. Everyday, I'm asking myself why I hated you. It's past tense now because I don't feel a thing about you.

The dead doesn't need to be loved, right? But can the dead make someone happy?

* * *

I hate how you always look down on me. I am not stupid. I act on gut instinct and I am usually right. I don't overanalyze everything in front of me because I feel I should only focus that which is in front of me.

What's the point of looking towards the future when you can't even focus on the present?

Someone once asked me, "Which way are you going? The left one where there is nothing right? Or the right one, where there is nothing left?"

I didn't know what to answer back then but I might have picked the left. I don't know why. I just didn't want to be alone, even if it's for all the wrong reasons.

Did you ever feel lonely? Probably not. You were always poking your noise into people's business. What ruined you in the end, I wonder.

In the end, I was unable to find any answers. I felt content, sad, and maybe a bit lonely.

Death made me realize a lot of things and I think if I was allowed to have one regret, it was to be able to truly see what kind of person you are.

What and why you did or acted the way you were. What you wanted with me, why you bothered me.

I guess I would be unable to ask you, considering you're no longer physically present and I don't believe in God to answer me. I decide my own path and I guess it will be a quest of questioning.

I'm content, I have a new purpose: to understand the things I don't know. Some might not agree with me but like I give a damn.

I'll do what I want until this body fades and return to dust. And maybe, just maybe, we might meet again. I don't expect us to be great friends or lovers but if possible, we can be two individuals going through life and sharing our thoughts.

Yeah, it's something to look forward to.


End file.
